Dear America, From a HSP

Last week I broke down.

It was the morning after the election, and I was exhausted (to say the least). It was my last week in Tucson, a place I’ve lived for the last six+ years. I’d just said goodbye to a community of people who had been my family, my teachers, my students, my friends… my tribe. (Emotional to say the least).

When Mr. Donald J. Trump was elected as president, I was just as shocked as everyone else.

The morning after,  I sat on my yoga mat with my closest friend and my significant other and I cried. And yeah, that’s an understatement. I was pretty much hysterical. I was fearful. I was anxious. I was completely caught off guard and felt betrayed. I felt angry. I felt sad. I felt confused. I felt scared.

I have met and loved many people in this life. When Mr. Trump verbally attacked certain groups of people, he was attacking my friends. He was attacking me. And I took it personally. I do not support sexism, bigotry, racism, hate speech, fear mongering, or negativity of any kind. I believe that the words you speak are what you bring into your life. The more you speak words of hate, the more hate fills your heart.

To that end, I believe the opposite is true as well: When we speak words of love, love fills our hearts.

I sat on my yoga mat that morning, with tears on my face, worry in my heart, and anger in my bones. And I was not alone. There were many who were hurt and betrayed following Election 2016, and rightfully so. We were misled as a country on so many accounts. Both Right and Left have been manipulating us. Every single news source has been biased in some fashion. Trump has spoken words of hate. But, so has Hillary.

In honesty, what I’ve realized in the week that has passed is that everything is going to be okay.

Why? Because love still exists.

I still have faith in love. I have faith in us. In myself. In my friends. In my neighbors. In my community.

I shed tears the morning of November 9, 2016 for every single one of us who was manipulated by the people of power in this country.

Today you will not find tears on my face. You’ll find a smile.

Like so many others, I have been blessed with love. As I cried that morning, my tears were wiped away by my two best friends. Two strong men who remind me that GOOD men do exist. These men have showed me more compassion and love than I can even begin to comprehend. They did not belittle me for being sad. In fact, my significant other held me and told me that I was S T R O N G. And as he held me up in my moment of need, I thought, “We are strong.”

A few years ago I was diagnosed by a very smart doctor as a “Highly Sensitive Person”. I’ve had many labels placed on me my external voices, some true, some not—but this one made sense.

There was a protest at the University of Arizona last night in Tucson, Ariz. and it affected me. Negatively.

I know that there is hurt. I see that there is unrest in people’s hearts. I understand that you want to be heard.

It’s okay to be hurt.

It’s okay to feel.

But, it’s not okay to spread that sadness, fear, anger, hate (call it what you want) to others.

I was sitting a local pizza spot and I watched as they marched by yelling. Some were words of strength, some were words of hate. All of it was conflicted.

There was a child eating next to us with his mother. I listened as he asked his mother what they were saying.

They were saying, “F*** Trump.” And it was difficult for the mother to explain that to her small child.

America, please understand the weight that your words hold. The value of your actions. Every action you make is changing the direction of this country. We are in this together. My friends, my fellow Americans, love is alive. Please, think of our children. Love is infectious, but we can’t love one another if we don’t know how to accept love ourselves.

If you need someone to simple listen, feel free to write to me.

Love and light,

Tatiana